Lost.
Differing World Views.
- OCT 24TH, 2025
Change.
What now? I just got news that ### ##### #### ### ####.
I was walking to the kitchen to get some breakfast when I overheard my mom on the phone with ###### talking about opportunities. When she finished her call and told me the news I immediately lost my apetite.
So many things are racing through my head that I'm not ready to jot down. I imagine this is what I get for taking everything for granted. But is it really my fault? Am I some sort of failure?
I guess this is the curveballs life so often throws at us to keep us on our toes—and I wasn't ready for it, so I struck out. Regardless, life moves on. Everyone is going through something so this is nothing different. I'm truly grateful for the position I was able to be in for the past ## #####, because there are people out there that have nothing, so what position am I in to complain about having something?
Even so, day by day I feel like im more lost than the last. Just drifting through a pod of orcas as a lonesome seal. Just patiently waiting for a break, an escape, any chance to find my own.
Hopefully that break I'm so desperately seeking appears to me sooner than later. Hopefully this isnt all I'll ever amount to be. Hopefully theres a future ahead of this thats great and prosperous, but hope can only get you so far.
I should've been the one to ##### ### ##### by now. I know I'm capable of doing it, everyone is, but I just don't want it enough. I don't want that feeling of relief and freedom as much as they do. Why? Do I think everything will be handed to me if I just pray?
Come what may, it's always best to look at the positives of every situation, because there's someone out there that's going through something, if not worse, equal to what I'm experiencing with much more gratitude for their situation. So I'm obligated to keep moving forward. It'll all be over soon anyways.
For what is death, without meaning to life. And what is life without means to an end.